What you hear or see is not always what you get

Remember the telephone game you played when you were little? Someone would whisper a sentence into the ear of the person next to her. That person would then pass the comment to the person next to her; the secret was whispered along to each person in the line until it reached the last person. Who’d then announce what she thought was the original whispered sentence.

The end message was completely different from the original, got huge laughs at its ending craziness, and clearly showed how communication can go awry!

To be an effective communicator, whether using a written or a verbal means, several things must be considered:

Choose your words wisely. Whether writing or speaking, communicating involves taking a bit of time to think about what you’re going to say. Will the listener understand what you’re saying? Or will it be misinterpreted?

Listen to what others say. Pay attention to the person with whom you’re conversing or to the presenter at a conference. If you’re so intent on trying to figure out how you will respond to a question that you don’t really listen to what is said, you’re likely to give an answer that makes no sense to the question posed. If necessary, repeat the question to get clarity before you respond.

Tone, inflection, body language. When you speak, make it point that the tone of your voice is not “saying’ something different from the “words” that are coming from your mouth. For instance, if you’re shouting ridicule or making fun but you’re smiling as you do so your message may be taken differently from your intent.

*  Further, if you are being spoken to, stand with your arms at your side or on the table. Or, you might sit with your hands in your lap. If your arms are crossed, you give a vibe that you’re “closed in” or are not receptive to the conversation.

* And if you’re trying to get the attention of the person across the aisle you’re clearly not involved in what’s being said.

Write less, say more. A lot of us more often than not communicate these days using email, Skype, instant message and the like. While these methods are a valid means, particularly because they serve as a keeper of the records, they sometimes lose some of their effectiveness because you can’t see the body language and you can’t hear the tone of voice.

Thus it’s important to take the time to formulate your email with care, especially since once it’s gone from your fingers, electronic communication is forevermore on the world-wide web for all to see.

And know when to stop!